The Tryin’ Times began back in the Pandemic of 2020, in an effort to help demonstrate positive values, leadership, passion for living, and a belief that good will always win. We were all living in fear. We’ve come to a place where the world seems to be moving back to “normal,” or some semblance of it.. but not every “normal” we return to is good, right, or necessary.
So I ain’t fuckin’ leavin! This blog and now podcast has become extremely rewarding for me internally, and I hope it inspired at least 1 or 2 other people the last year or so.
That being said.. here’s the next blessin’ that’s come to my mind..
The Only Difference Between Your Dreams and Nightmares Is FEAR.
Like many of these Tryin Times pieces, odd smatterings of honor, humor, and hindsight, this edition began as a facebook status. I’ve tried to utilize longer form content to enhance my past, cryptic, or odd messaging in effort to help people better understand not only what the hell I am saying, but why I am sharing it also.
Yesterday morning I awoke from an odd dream, of which I couldn’t remember much detail, but I do remember moments in the dream that in my past (when I wasn’t in as strong of a mental/emotional/chemical place) that would have really thrown my day for a loop. I hope I’m not alone in the sense that the right dream can have you overthinking and analyzing and trying to “crack the code” of the message you are supposed to be getting..
The day before that I watched the first half (still have half to go) of Russell Brand’s podcast, particularly an episode with Eckhart Tolle. Brand, like myself but more famous, is someone seeking to help and understand….(who also spent a lot of time doing so, but in a much less healthy way), and I highly recommend his work. His interviews and insight are always rewarding & brain quenching. Tolle, a sort of spiritual teacher and intellectual, is one of my mother’s favorite “teachers” so this was exciting to hear and learn from.
A lot of what they talked about was related to ‘awakening,’ or being ‘conscious,’ and you should checkout for yourself. Tolle goes on to describe the separation between YOU, and your thoughts, and your figural being, in the figural world. He describes in great detail the concept and beauty of being “conscious,” and how to start…
Please do check it out for yourself as at this point in my journey, I simply cannot elaborate with such graceful detail as Tolle…
I woke up again today, this time from a much longer, much more detailed dream. Oddly, the dream was… new, but still current. I oftentimes have these dreams where I go to somewhat familiar places that are very accurate to the movie Inception, similar in nature to our current world, but just slightly different architecture, often exaggerated or more magnificent than it’s relative real-life version. I am conscious in these dreams, and I often see or feel people from my past and current life, that usually drum up either good or bad emotions, which often promote confusion.
These are the dreams I am once again referring to, that you awake and almost don’t remember… but almost feel real..
Where am I going with all of this?
This dream was different. More expansive. More choices. I walk even in these dreams with less fear today. I walked around in a sense of wonder and awe, versus discontent, confusion and loneliness…
Bottom line- I think I broke more ground on my “quest.” for truth…
I’ve lived in fear. I am someone who proudly describes himself as brave. You can be brave and still live in fear. Fear is a decision. Courage is a choice. You can be brave, and still live in fear. One more time… you can be a brave person, and still live in FEAR.
Why?
That depends.
Ask yourself…
What are you afraid of? When you really go there.. you start to recognize, that your fears are not reality. Your fears are not occurring while you fear them. Your fears are never happening while you are afraid. You are spending time being afraid while you are thinking about what your afraid of. Our fears are hardly ever as bad as the outcome or experience we are envisioning.
You’re not experiencing the things your afraid of, while you’re thinking about them…
Sure maybe you’re afraid of something that’s happening soon, that’s okay. Go into it. Don’t be afraid. Enjoy fear. Enjoy the rush. Enjoy being conscious. This is your freedom. This is your challenge. Are you up for it?
Find people around you who are capable of facing your fears with you. Thank the people who help you face your fears. Next time you feel yourself getting negative, or fearful of an outcome, flip your mind over and think about a time where you faced a fear and how much better you felt.
Both in the real world, and apparently in my dream world (lol).. I have something inside of me now that I didn’t have before, when I was struggling with mental health and addiction… I knew I was brave.. but I forgot a crucial difference.
Courage.
Until writing this EXACT BLOG, doing this EXACT work for myself, and you readers, and anyone out there, I didn’t know, or had forgotten the difference.
What is the difference between Bravery and Courage?
Bravery is the ability to confront something scary, difficult, or dangerous WITHOUT any fear.
Courage is the ability to confront something scary, difficult, or dangerous DESPITE any fear.
The person who is courageous believes the cause is worth fighting for, despite all the clear reasons not to.
I am a brave person, who was and has been afraid… here’s a few..
Afraid of people not respecting me
Afraid of not living up to the work my parents and family did for me
Afraid of not being good enough
Afraid of my mistakes and the karma associated
Afraid of my mental health,
many more. I was brave, but I acted without fear. I have decided that it takes a lot more energy to be courageous, and to demonstrate for others what real courage is, but the reward has been what I’ve always yearned and dreamed for… Fear is actually something I’m very good at helping people overcome, both by being brave, but more importantly.. being courageous.
The feeling of helping 1 person laugh, feel joy, feel strong, feel courageous is the best feeling in my dream, in my reality. When I am able to uplift someone, or help someone, it is the best feeling in the world. It gives hope. If you’re feeling hopeless, or fearful, or negative, help 1 person. Help give them courage. They need you.
Just start with 1 person. Extend the branch. You’ll be planting seeds of courage in no time.
I woke up from a dream for the second consecutive day, with this message from somewhere, to help someone understand what I learned this week.
I also want to throw in one final lesson/blessin I took from this eventful night in the dreamworld… this one was more particular and personal to me…
The message from the dream I got was this.
No one ever got anywhere alone. No one ever won a battle without an army. No one ever recreated without a partner. No one ever smiled without making someone laugh first. Thank someone for the work they’ve done for you… Not physical work, but emotional, spiritual, and mental work..
There are so many souls who helped get you to this point today. The one’s that come to your mind first deserve love and attention, but think harder. My dream gave me one that I now recognize, I don’t feel I’ve shown enough gratitude to.
M. Brennan– former teammate, classmate, and longtime friend.. A gentle giant who never had a bad word to say about anyone, always kind to me, always had my best interest in mind. He always had my back, and always had a positive spin to promote.
I probably never accomplish half of what I did as an athlete or individual without people like M. Brennan. Silent leaders for good. Representers of purity. Quiet demonstrators of how beautiful a life can look when the right things are done.
Big Brennan appeared in my dream last night, in an odd way, helping to guide me “back home” from this odd-inception-like, casino airport party lol. He came in the form he was in when we were teenagers, and helped guide me home, where I’d wake up this morning. In an odd way, in the dream world, dream Brennan reminded me how much real Brennan, and people like him, really do, without any need for validation or public pedestal.
Just wana say thanks to everything that is good back then, and thanks today for courageous and great people like the Gentle Giant M. Brennan for being leaders to follow.
Thank someone. Help someone. Put yourself back to work for the Good Team. It’s a hell of a lot more rewarding. You’ll start seeing that your dreams and your nightmares aren’t really that different.. Be courageous.
It’s what your afraid of that you really need to think about.. and research..
To summarize… here’s my lessons/blessins’ I’ve learned recently to share
1. Remember, You are not your thoughts- thoughts are reflections of past and present but not reality
2. Remember, Your dreams should never make you afraid– embrace fear and be courageous
3. Remember, No one ever succeeded alone– grow your spirit team, and be grateful for them- and tell them you appreciate them
4. Remember, Help others through the dark- We’re all playing the same game, just different characters.
5. Remember, Bravery and Courage are not the same- Be both, in the right moments.
Thanks for reading..Love you guys.. stay tuned for blessins and inspiration here on the Tryin Times, bleumafia.com will be returning soon for Buffalo Bills coverage, and you can see a bit more Tryin Times on the Rej & The Zoo Podcast!
